Lust
by Kuri333
Summary: "I could never have imagined something of this intensity happening, not when I've always seen Remus as this true gentleman being controlled and proper and now… now his kiss was telling me I'd misjudged him. Very much so."


Remus' hands were on my hips and, a second after, his lips on mine. And even though I'm pretty sure I gasped out loud, I couldn't honestly say it was entirely unexpected. I've dreamt about this, wished for him to do exactly what he was doing with his tongue…

On a second thought no, I could never have imagined something of this intensity happening, not when I've always seen Remus as this true gentleman being controlled and proper and now… now his tongue, tracing paths towards my earlobe, was telling me I'd misjudged him. Very much so.

So, even if I've had some images slightly resembling to this, they'd never taken place in a dark alleyway full of garbage bins and plastic bags, mere meters from number 12, Grimmauld Place.

And yet, here we were.

Finally, after I couldn't remember how many sleepless nights in conversation, how many shared laughs and moments, he had decided to do something about that growing feeling between us, proving that it had not been just my imagination. And right now, his hands shamelessly caressing my hips, I could not help but sigh aloud in relief.

_The day before something had changed. It had not been _this_ explicit, of course, but something had definitely shifted between us._

_He had gone to a mission, we all knew it would be a very risky one, and something had gone wrong. At least, that was the only explanation possible I could think of after half an hour of pacing the headquarters' library, practically digging a hole on the dusty carpet, and not knowing about him. _

_He was always there on time to deliver his report; he had even said he would come back. But nothing yet; time was passing and he was no-where to be seen and I was starting to chew on my fingernails, something I had stop doing at the age of ten._

_For a wild moment I'd considered getting his whereabouts out of Moody and go after him, to give him a hand or help him or even rescue him if it had come to that. Of course that was out of the question; the word undercover had a very clear meaning and I had to learn to be patient, something I have never really managed._

_Another half an hour passed and it felt as if I was going to burst out my skin in impatience and fear. And then, the front door had opened almost making no noise at all, and I guessed it must be him, because, really, it just had to be Remus, and unharmed at that, if you please._

_It took me a handful of steps to reach the hall, and it was a miracle I didn't trip with real or imaginary obstacles. There he was, the git, apparently without a scratch, hanging his cloak, and absolutely oblivious that the past hour had nearly been the death of me. Not that he would care, of course, but a girl could wish, couldn't she?_

_And I just felt like thanking whatever fortune there was out there for the fact that he was indeed back. I don't know what came over me. I honestly can say I didn't plan it, I just forgot we don't do this or maybe I didn't really care. He saw me and I was launching into his arms. It was a relief when I felt that it wasn't awkward at all and he was hugging me back._

"_You all right?" I asked, my voice muffled on his jumper. The scent was so intense and it felt like home; I realised how weird it was to be actually sniffing him, but I've never been so close before and there was no telling if this was going to happen again so the sensible thing to do was to take the opportunity. How was I to know?_

"_Yeah, I'm fine," he said and it was such a relief._

"_I was worried."_

"_I run into a couple of not very friendly Death Eaters, but I'm fine, they did not even get a chance to recognise me."_

_I looked at him, wanting to actually see, to be sure that he was indeed all right. And for some strange reason, his arms stayed around my back and I thought back then that it would not be half bad to just stay like that for a couple of centuries or more._

"_Are you hurt?" I asked again._

"_No, I'm not, nothing really happen."_

_I smiled at him and even though I did not wanted to, I wanted less for us to get all weird, so I let go, feeling all sorts of coldness around me. I just needed that feeling back, I just needed him back and, something I'd already knew, it was not just about having a very good friend talking to you and laughing with you. It was something else, a need coming from somewhere inside me, a yearn to be as close to him as humanly possible, feeling his body next to mine and his scent on my senses._

Remus was now pressing me against the brick wall of the alley, his fingertips on my neck, caressing it with some sort of urge I could've never imagined on him. My knees seemed to have turned into jelly, I could not think anymore, I just wanted to get lost in those caresses, to feel him even closer, to draw out this moment forever.

"Let me try something," he whispered hoarsely and I just nodded, almost trembling with anticipation.

He was kissing me again and suddenly I felt as being pushed from all directions at the same time. It took me a moment to realise he had side-along Disapparated me, I had no idea where. For a fraction of a second a voice that sounded an awful lot like Mad-Eye's told me it was no good when that happen because you could never tell where a Death Eater could be, waiting for… but I just hushed it. My eyes were still closed and, for once, I decided to get lost to the world into that wonderful intense feeling of being impossibly close to Remus.

_Just earlier I had been fantasising about what _that_ hug could possibly mean. Of course it would have been better for me to just focus on the feet of files to sort in front of me and on the identification of possible Death Eaters amongst the suspects, but the other images were far more appealing. I knew I shouldn't be reading into something that, maybe, had been nothing at all. A friendly hug if you liked. But I could not stop myself thinking and recreating the feeling of his touch on me and that scent of his… it was just too much, it would drive me insane._

_Add to that the perspective of seeing him again at dinner, and it took all my self control not to say I was feeling a tad under the weather and wouldn't it be safer for everybody if I just went home? I didn't of course. For one reason, because I had to behave my best, and also because what would keep me off going insane on my own in my flat?  
_

_There were those questions, filling every coherent thought... What would happen when we'd finally meet? Would he hug me again? Would we talk? I wouldn't say a thing, I just couldn't, and probably neither would he. So, why hurrying? Just to be near him? Yes, that would be absolutely worthwhile!_

_When a suspect arrived to the Auror's headquarters to be interrogated, only ten minutes before the end of my shift, I just felt like hexing the hell out of him and pretend it had been an accident. Of course I couldn't and that meant I arrived to Grimmauld Place late and fuming, fearing that he would be gone. It all dissolved, though, the moment I entered the half-full kitchen and saw him. Funnily enough, the sit next to Remus was free and I had to really stop myself from jumping on the table in order to get there faster._

_I had to greet the lot of them, all Weasleys and Sirius and the kids. And suddenly a plate of something delicious was in front of me and I could forget about it because I haven't yet done what I have wanted to do this whole time: look at him. And, if possible, say something meaningful. Of course nothing came so I just glanced in his direction, or that had been the plan. Only we stuck at looking at one another; there was something in his eyes, some intensity I'd honestly never seen before. _

_What was it? What sort of hidden emotion was making he looked this… eager? Why did it seem he was looking at my every movement? I could not miss the fact that he focused on my lips a moment too long and then on my eyes again, and I'm sure it was only an instant but something inside my body started to burn and I could swear time just stopped for a while._

_Only, it didn't, and of course I just had to know what it was all about._

"_What?" I whispered, trying for it to be as private as you could expect on a room full of people._

"_Nothing," he whispered and was it my imagination or his voice was hoarser than usual?_

"_Is there something…?" I trailed off, not sure of what did I actually want to ask him. Is there something you would like to tell me? Is there something wrong? __Is there something in my face? _

"_No."_

_His small grin gave way to a genuine smile, and with a very uncommon playful air, he nudged me in the ribs. Only it did not felt playful at all. I felt a breath getting caught in my throat at some strange sort of heat passing through us with the gesture. I had to look at him again, but his eyes were on Arthur, and for all that was sacred, I could not make heads or tail of something that was unquestionably there, so intense it was almost tangible, and yet so vague I could very well be wrong._

_I had to know either way, whatever it took._

"Where are we?" I asked, even though curiosity was not my strongest emotion at the time.

"My place," he said, and I felt my head spin while anticipation took over my entire body. Remus, for the first time since he had followed her outside Grimmauld Place, looked hesitant. "If it's all right with you."

In the landing to which we'd had Apparated there were two wooden doors. For a second, I tried to guess which one was his. It was silly, really, but I had to muster some nerve in order to look at those so very intense eyes again. And I saw he was giving me the opportunity to refuse, to stop what we were doing and just go home.

I would have been completely out of my rocket to choose that option.

I could not find the words to say that so I did the only sensible thing I could think of and kissed him with all I had. I wanted him to feel that intensity he was making me feel, I wanted him to realise I just wanted this as much as he seemed to, or maybe even more. It was just amazing to feel him kissing me back and gently pulling to the door on the left.

_In order to really know, I just needed to do something extreme. And in order to do _that_, I just needed to summon up all that courage that, supposedly, made me somewhat famous even for a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I took a deep breath I was in desperate need of and, wishing I could close my eyes, I placed my hand on his and approached his ear. For once in my life, I really, really needed to be subtle._

"_Would you tell me is there was… something?"_

_I just wished for him to understand that, if he really was feeling... whatever it had been that had passed between us, I was feeling it as well. I needed him to read every possible meaning into those words, to realise that, if it indeed had been desire what I had read in his eyes, we were exactly on the same page._

_There was no saying if it had been my imagination or if he really had gone rigid at my touch, and even if he had, should I gather it was some sort of encouragement or just the opposite? For another infinite second, we were staring at each other and I wished for everybody else to disappear so I could get even closer to him and see every shade in the brown of his eyes._

_Whatever was happening inside my body was getting much stronger now and I had to take a deep breath in a futile attempt to try to ignore it._

"_Of course," he whispered and I could all but swear he was saying something else entirely._

_And yet, how could I be certain? What if I needed to do something much more drastic about it? Would I dare to actually act upon my hunch and force an answer out of him? Would I-?_

_Before my brain could finish to sum up my fears, my hand seemed to have taken care of the situation and was now boldly on his leg, hidden under the table to everybody else' looks, trying to convince the rest of my body this was the natural thing to do. And now I could swear he had gone rigid, I was absolutely sure. I just needed to wait, almost without breathing. I needed to see his reaction, even if it was just stand up and walk away, and crash my hopes once and for all._

_He didn't, and I was smiling and doing my best to pretend to be listening to Molly. And yet, out of the corner of my eye, I could see he had looked at me. I couldn't look back at him now, or I would just start to tremble. But I was feeling bolder. Would I dare do something else? Could I take this, whatever _this_ was, even further? I moved my hand a little, now effectively caressing his leg and trying my best to morph away my blush while chatting with Ginny. Talk about multitasking._

_It took all I had not to gasp out loud when I felt his hand – _his! Remus' hand!_ – warm and steady, lightly touching my hip and settling on my leg. I am sure my fingers just tightened on his thigh and now I was ready to vanish the lot of dinner guests in order to really enjoy those incredible waves of heat his hand was sending through my body._

_I just wanted him; I needed him so desperately it felt almost impossible to finish what was on the plate and be ready to go. Because I needed to be out. With him, preferably._

_We would have to work this out and the sooner the better. _

_I slid my hand further up and leaned forward to whisper into his ear. It was now or never._

"_It's too hot in here."_

"_Is it?" he said and for a moment I just hated the way his voice was steady and controlled as ever. It gave me the strong temptation of running my hand somewhere else and see how much self-control would he have then._

_"I'd say it is," I whispered instead, "but it's up to you, really."_

It was a small sitting room, covered from floor to ceiling with bookshelves. I could make out a kitchen and a corridor through a door, but none of that was really important. Above it all, I just wanted to see him and figure out what was that other emotion in Remus' eyes, where moments ago had been nothing but desire. He seemed to be waiting for me to do something, only I had no idea of what.

Not taking his eyes off me, he finally closed the door and his arms were on my back again.

This time I realised he was waiting for me to tell him that this was all right, he needed to be absolutely sure and he was waiting for me to close the small gap that separated our lips. I did, and I was just beyond happiness on feeling that his response was still intense, that he still wanted me.

_This was it. I had dropped the bomb and now it was for him to decide what was going to happen; I would just try to make it as clear as possible. Ignoring his hand, I stood up and refused Molly's offer of staying for desert, babbling the first thing that came into my mind as an excuse. _

"_Good night to you lot," I called, making a point on avoiding Remus' eyes, and a moment later I was climbing up the kitchen steps and walking down the corridor. _

_Would he follow me? Would he actually understand what I'd been implying and would he do something about it?_

_I made it to the door and opened it, and still there was no sign of him, no sound of his footsteps. Maybe he was building up an excuse to leave the table as well without making it look that he was coming after me. Or maybe, probably even, he was just not interested and all of this had been just a product of my imagination. My spirits sunk and I closed the door at my back, taking large amounts of fresh air. There was nothing else to do but head to the Apparition point and go home, where I would take a very cold shower and decide, from now on, to stay out of his way for a while. And try my best to forget all about him would not be a bad idea either._

_I was about to turn around the corner when, finally, there were those long expected hurried footsteps._

"_Tonks," his voice was trembling slightly and I just stopped. I could feel my smile wide and I was somewhat ashamed of him seeing it. _

_He was at my side anyway, kissing the daylights out of me and making my body melt under his hands, no longer hesitant at all._

Remus was now caressing my thighs but it was such a different sensation from what I had felt under the table at Grimmauld Place, so much intense and intimate, and so insufficient. Because now I had an idea of what was just about to happen if we were to continue doing what we were doing.

"Wait, Tonks," he sounded breathless and I was ready to protest for the fact that his lips had parted from mine.

It was all sorts of wrong, so I kissed him again and he responded, but a second later, he was trying to stop me again.

"What?" I asked, my voice and my knees weak.

"I'm… we…," he was trying to take deep breaths between words. "I… are you sure… this is what you want?"

"Never been so sure… of anything in my life."

* * *

**AN: So after finishing "Seven" I thought about Tonks' take on Ch 4, Lust. If I get the inspiration for writing a second chapter, this will get M-rated and that would be a first for me.**

**As usual, all places and characters belong to J.K. Rowling and no harm is intended.**

**Thanks a lot!**


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